


A little bit of greasey sweet enchanting and moonstone  magic

by Mecha9Viceroy74



Category: Sly Cooper (Video Games)
Genre: Accusations of Cheating, Alternate Universe - Magic, Anger Management, Blackmail, Developing Relationship, Disagreement, F/M, Guilt, Oneshot, Other, Peacekeeping, Pirates, Sly 3: Honor Among Thieves, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, Who is E.W?, prank gone wrong
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-02
Updated: 2020-01-02
Packaged: 2021-02-27 07:29:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,343
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22073287
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mecha9Viceroy74/pseuds/Mecha9Viceroy74
Summary: Following the Blood Bath Bay incident involving the wild magic wielding pirates and especially Captain LeFwee, tensions are high among the core three, especially since  Bentley found out about Sly causing Penelope to get captured by General Tsao the necromancer\wuxia soldier, during the wedding crash mission in China.Can the Guru and Dimitri keep the peace before people start a spell fight in the safe house and who is this E.W figure threatening to blackmail Sly and Carmelita Fox?
Relationships: Bentley/Penelope (Sly Cooper), Sly Cooper/Carmelita Fox
Kudos: 2





	A little bit of greasey sweet enchanting and moonstone  magic

**Author's Note:**

> Note: I don't own any of the Sly Cooper Characters and places, they belong to Sucker Punch and Sanzuru Games. Though this magic Au is in a way an idea of mine.

##  The Cooper Gang Safehouse boat, Jamaica, three hours after leaving Blood bath Bay.

Murray the hippo winced as Penelope started bickering with Sly Cooper , the raccoon master thief again for the third time in this voyage to Kaine Island and a reddish pink malfunction spell caused his chair to work like an ejector seat as he sat down, while he gasped "Wait, what have you done Penelope. Argh!"and Sly screamed as he nearly popped out of his chair on the boat like a cork into the Caribbean sea, which would have been funny in a cartoon, had it not been for the fact that Sly had problems swimming so it wasn't really all that funny, though the Panda King gave a brief look of discomfort, which spoke volumes about the former member of the Fiendish Five's emotional state. 

His mentor the Guru sighed in dismay at this latest argument, before speaking in English(which he disliked doing) for the first time outside of Australia when the Mask of Dark Earth had shown up,while concentrating on a levitation spell to get Sly out of the sea. "Penelope calm down , that stunt could have gotten Sly hurt or killed. We cannot keep on having to fix everything you and Bentley enchant with techno-magic, every time an argument breaks out between the three of you in this safe-house."

The teenage pink mouse R.C expert from Holland and Techno-mage child prodigy shouted while Sly was floating back into the ship with the Guru's spell. "Well maybe, that meanie could have thought about it before he caused me to get captured by that Stone Dragon in China and again with Captain LeFwee at Blood Bath Bay. That pirate's magic was crazier than that chicken's ancestral necromancy summoning thing , it was a miracle those parrot pirates didn't get blown up by their own magic spells. Must be something in the grog they drink, cause Sly's Cooper Magic kept on going wrong! Don't give me that look Mr Cooper,you think I haven't seen you making kissy faces at that fox cop!" Then she stormed off angrily in a huff and Sly looked genuinely hurt by her shouting. 

Suddenly a letter got sent through the port side window and Bentley groaned. "Admittedly that plan was my fault Penelope and we should have double checked first. Oh great, Sly, it's another note letter from that E.W figure like the ones we picked up in Venice, Australia, Holland and China. Weird that whoever sent it knew the Panda King and the rest of the Fiendish Five. Your name is on the front so you're going to have to take a look. "

Sly coughed some seawater out of his lungs as he readjusted to being back on the deck and stated while wringing tropical brine water out of his cap. "Thank you Guru hack wheeze, but can you give me a few minutes Bentley? Still trying to catch my breath here. " After a few quick breaths of the Caribbean sea air, he walked over towards the main table of the gang, let his tech expert give him the letter sent by E.W and opened the letter container. 

It seemed more weathered and faded than the last one, although the salty air of the sea might have had something to do with it's faded appearance. But despite his cheerfulness about successfully retrieving Dimitri's old family diving gear, that got brought down by the chilling words hidden within the letter, though E.W was a bit more condescending and blunt in this one , than the one they'd sent to the Panda King or the last three they've found during the whole team gathering for the Cooper Vault . Here's a sneak peek on what it said.

_"To Sly Cooper , _do you have a death wish?" "Admittedly saving a member of your own gang from being forced to marry a pirate is interesting, as well as retrieving your new recruit Dimitri Lousteau's diving gear which used to belong to his grandfather from the dreaded Black Spot Pete of Blood Bath Bay." "However Dimitri is a parasite of the Klaww Gang who is only worthy to be a distraction that lacks focus and I doubt that the Panda King, an old friend of my relative has forgiven you for his past humiliation at your hands. "__

____

"Who cares about that glorified ancestral dump heap of a vault?" "You could steal anything that you're thinking about ,on the Earth and not just from criminals." "You could have been the most powerful person in France, no the world, but I disgress as your so called Cooper honor is probably rankling at my truthful words in this letter." "What kind of honourable person flips flops on the environmental issues that happened in Australia ,or leaves a lady who can fend for herself to get captured?" "A treacherous hypocrite that's what, just like your father and your ancestors." 

____

"If you don't turn your undoubtedly stolen vessel around, death will await you and on Kaine Island's shores." "But you might prefer death at Dr M, the magicless one's creations compared to the rumours I can spread, or the ancestral secrets I can uncover, including your love for a certain Inspector of Interpol."

____

" So as I have attempted to cajole and persuade you four times on your no doubtlessly suicidal quest around the world, turn back on your quest to find the Cooper Vault and let Dr M take his cut of your illegal legacy's treasures." "Heavens knows he's desperate for the chance." "If you refuse, keeping your relationship with Ms Fox secret will be the least of your worries." _"From your intrigued watcher E.W. "_

______ _ _

Sly Cooper finished reading the letter, but his face turned a shade of purple almost the same shade as Dimitri, who unfortunately had just walked into the cabin and Sly suddenly lost his temper at whoever E.W was as Bentley headed off. 

______ _ _

"Okay whoever this E.W guy or lady is has just popped my last nerve. That vault is a family legacy and I doubt Dr M has a legal permit to mine it! Dimitri, why are you just standing there, go practice for any diving stuff you need to do. Argh, how does this blackmailer know about my relationship with Carmelita? The whole set up of this letter sounds too inconvenient!" 

______ _ _

Dimitri looked at Sly in annoyance before looking at him back, before readying a spell as he left the main cabin. "Yeah I know soft sock, but you need to calm down. A leading man can't go getting his clocks out of order, you dig?Besides whoever the blackmailer E. W is, must totally be bluffing, cause there's no way their reach could stretch that far back in time. Just feel the feeling of calmness for a while, cause I'm off to talk to the Guru, or whatever his real name is first."

______ _ _

The telltale smell of cigarette smoke, paint, sweat and wine was gone in Dimitri 's magic, as the raccoon master thief and warlock couldn't quite put his finger on it. This felt more like a calm sea breeze and beach sand, which confounded Sly who muttered "Well okay, whatever floats your boat Dimitri. I'm off to chat with my old pal Bentley. Your magic feels different from before though. Do you have an area based thing or something?"

As the Cooper gang's new frogman approached the Guru's door of their resident mystic's room, he saw Murray, the pink hippo brawler of the Cooper Gang talking to him, with a brief glow of a kind of magi he hadn't seen before. "Yeah the inner waters here feel a bit better than Blood Bath Bay. Boy that was intense and I can't quite reach into the Dream-time like you, but out of all the places we've visited, it had the most intense aura yet. Kind of like a real life pirate movie, with all the glory seeking and scary violence that entails. Huh, I don't normally say a big word like that, whoa Dimitri why are you here? Coming to have a chat, or is there something else on your mind?". Now Murray wasn't exactly the best magic user, even with the Guru's help, but he was still a bit wary of the enchanter, especially since Dimitri had the dangerous knowledge on how to do charm and emotion spells right, along with expert enchanting and a few variations based upon the Planet of Shadow's Desire Mages for his lower level ones. 

Dimitri smiled, a genuine one this time. "Nah , my main man Murray. Dimitri doesn't want bad vibes messing the voyage up. Mind if I groove with you on how to fix the turtle-B and mouse-RC mess, since I introduced Penelope to the boss in the first place. Anyway, what's your real name because I don't know if you believe in all that True name rumours and stuff like that. " Now the Guru was starting to grow annoyed at the marine iguana, since Dimitri was obviously angling for some sort of information, but he already knew from his protege Murray about Dimitri's ego. "Fine, my name is Punruguru, but most people including my student prefer to call the the Sanskrit word for teacher, which is Guru. You seem to bear the scars of jealousy's poison and of a hidden shame, but since we need the voyage to be a success, what exactly do you know about miss Penelope?" He sighed telepathically while raising his staff down.

The enchanter\emotion magic user looked at the mystic, while briefly backing away from the amplifying moonstone and raised his own hands at the koala. "Well Dimitri never actually met her face to face off the net, but in her disguise as the Black Baron sounded like an easily irritated guy if good on mechanical juice in their net posts, she obviously shares the same short temper in person out of the suit. Obviously she and Turtle-B have taken this Sly lying thing real low-down and they're all flamed up at him and each other for the failed plan. But Penelope seemed to like talking bout radio controlled cars and other things, so maybe you could get them to chat bout that." 

He ad-libbed quickly while wondering how the barely known koala had picked up his past emotional turmoil, before sitting down as Murray added in his own two views. "Yeah, that might work, or it might not. Maybe if we try to get them to open up about their interests and try to keep them from starting a fight , or stop people setting those two off or launching spells outside of duelling. " Murray was admittedly impressed by Punguru's skill in people reading the forger, though admittedly some of it had come from experiences in the past and he wasn't a slouch in that department either. But he was still not going to let him be alone with the purple marine iguana. 

Meanwhile over at the Kingston capital city of Jamaica on the other side of the island, Inspector Carmelita Fox groaned, those E.W notes were jeopardising her career and she'd already lost her job once in her coloured and checkered career on the force, no thanks to that double crossing magic and technology using traitor Neyla. But she opened it anyway, but grew annoyed at whoever it was. 

"Dear Miss Carmelita Fox and Inspector of Interpol, cease your foolish dalliance with the raccoon and your journey to Kaine island, unless you wish for every bit of private information to be in the open about your relationship, so to speak. Admittedly breaking free from the Contessa's own mind control and hypnotisation spells is impressive enough, but you took out two dangerous masterminds who led dangerous gangs, or in Arpeggio's case a syndicate. Regretfully one of them was my family. That is all I have to say, but it is not Neyla, as she was a tiger, not a bird.  
Yours sincerely, E.W"

"Come on, we need to head off to Kaine island soon or search the nearby seas, before the Cooper Gang get away Fox!" It felt odd seeing Winthrop boss her around, but the Inspector complied on the police boat in Kingstown dock. "Wait a minute, E.W sent me another note of blackmail, why are you snatching it off me?" At her reply Winthrop stated. "Because Chief Barker needs you to focus on the task. It's kind of creepy though, how much they know about you. I'm sending it to the graphic specialists."

As they left Kingston and went to Port au Prince in Haiti, near Blood Bath Bay, Chief Barker called her for the forth time. "Inspector Fox, do you copy? I am impressed about that sting operation on the General Tsao situation in China and the Chinese authorities are taking him to task for illegal necromancy. But enough about that, the graphologists have managed to pick up a few clues about who E.W might be. They think whoever the culprit has a degree in English, might be a bird and is heavily implied to be related to Clockwerk, given the strong anti-Cooper Clan bias in the notes. They might possibly be capable of word script magic, given the near flawless lingual techniques with enchanting paper. But they didn't show much apart from that, no gender referring terms, but you can hunt them down later. Keep up the good work!"

Meanwhile, in the Cooper Gang safehouse, Penelope and Bentley were both happily chatting and talking about radio controlled cars, when Sly Cooper nervously knocked on the front door of the breakroom. "Look before you two start arguing, I'm sorry for pushing the two of you too hard. Let's just apologise and move on to the next plan." Bentley added "Okay fine, Penelope, what do you think?"

The technomage looked at her transcriptions, before adding. "Alright, but don't be doing stuff at the last minute without telling us first." Dimitri and the Guru high fived each other backscreen. 


End file.
